Discovering the REAL Reasons for Weight Loss
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
Motivation, according to Wikipedia, is the reason for people’s action, willingness, and goals. An individual’s motivation may be inspired by other events (extrinsic motivation) or it may come from within the individual (intrinsic motivation). The motivation to lose weight may be a result of a health scare (extrinsic) or the desire to feel sexy again to win the attention of a spouse (intrinsic). After 25 years in practice I’ve found that the one common factor among people who experienced long-term success with nutrition change is uncovering their true motivation.
Our goal is to help you discover the real reason for your weight loss. We do this by asking you a series of questions. These questions are designed to dig deep and discover WHY you want to lose weight. Because sometimes, motivation is not enough to keep people moving forward. When you’re faced with double chocolate chip cookies in the office break room, motivation may take a back seat instant gratification.
When I meet with weight loss clients, I always ask why they came to see me. They will often lead with “I want to lose weight.” Sometimes they add “I want to feel better” or “I want to look better” but I know there is a hidden message behind those superficial answers. This is where I channel my inner 5-year-old and start asking WHY.
Client: I want to lose weight.
Me: Why?
Client: Because I want to feel better.
Me: Why is feeling better important?
Client: Because I don’t like feeling bad.
Me: Why?
Client: Because I don’t like the way I feel about myself when I feel bad.
Me: Why do you feel bad about yourself?
Client: Because I can’t keep up with my kids and their activities and I don’t want to miss out on anything.
Me: Why is this important?
Client: Because they deserve to have a mom who can play with them and be there for them.
Me: Why?
Client: BECAUSE MY MOM WAS OVERWEIGHT AND WASN’T THERE FOR ME. SHE COULDN’T GET ON THE FLOOR TO PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T GET UP. SHE MISSED ALL MY ACTIVITES BECAUSE SHE WAS EMBARASSED BY HER WEIGHT.
Now we are getting somewhere. This client wants to lose weight based on past trauma. She doesn’t want to follow in her mother’s footsteps because she doesn’t want her children to feel the same pain she did. The desire to move away from the pain lead her to Marino’s and we are providing her a solution to her problem. This revelation now becomes the driving force behind her food choices and dedication to her exercise plan. Although this doesn’t represent the outcome of every weight loss client, uncovering underlying reasons for change is more important than you think.
The questions don’t stop once I discover the real reason a client is here to see me. Without questions, I might project my biases and experiences onto the client and assume they want what I think they want. And we all know what happens when you ASS-U-ME. Here is a short list of questions I use when counseling clients along their weight loss journey:
1. How would life be different if you lost weight?
2. What activities could you do that you can’t do now?
3. What would you like to wear when you are smaller size?
4. How will you feel about yourself when you are a lower weight?
5. How would your relationships change if you lost weight?
6. What do you think people eat who are at a lower weight?
7. How much exercise do you think people at a lower weight do?
8. What does a day in your life look like when you are at a lower weight?
Using different coaching techniques found in Motivational Interviewing, Positive Psychology, and Appreciative Inquiry, I try to help clients see the life they want to live and the steps that are necessary to get there. I use their answers to help redirect them when they seem to be drifting away from their goals. As coaches our job is to guide clients on their journeys, but unless we ask the questions, how do we know where they want to go?
The next time you start a weight loss journey, hire a coach who will guide you, not instruct you. If I told you what to eat, you might do it for a week and then fall off the wagon. But if I help you identify WHY you want to lose weight and help you create a vision of your smaller self, perhaps you will have better outcomes.